Nobody puts Baby in the corner!

For those of you who know me well, or who’ve read this blog long enough, you’ll know that I really enjoy “Dirty Dancing.” As if watching the movie wasn’t enough, I sang along to the soundtrack as I drove to the Kellerman’s-esque Kutsher’s in the Catskills. I know better than to ever put Baby in a corner; I know never to trust elderly Jewish card players; and I know that carrying a watermelon is not only a way to get into an otherwise inaccessible party, but it’s also a great way to get the guy you’re crushing on to notice you.

So when I saw a video from the wedding of Julia and James, neither of whom I know, I couldn’t help but smile, giggle, and love every moment of it. They recreated the famous last dance scene of Dirty Dancing, and used it as their “first dance” at their wedding party.

Amazing!

And, yes, I now have a new “Dirty Dancing” tag.

"I love sweaty basketball players."

Whilst procrastinating on the writing of a paper, I started catching up on my blog reading. And, much to my amusement, I found a chain of events starting with John Amaechi’s public coming out.

A few days later, Tim Hardaway gave a radio interview, during which he was asked how he’d deal with having a gay teammate. He replied,

“First of all, I wouldn’t want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don’t think that’s right. And you know I don’t think he should be in the locker room while we’re in the locker room. I wouldn’t even be a part of that.”"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known.”

“I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States.”

Wow. There was all sorts of buzz around that, he was reprimanded by the NBA, etc.

But the best response was courtesy of last week’s Jimmy Kimmel show.

Star Trek Actor’s Satirical Response to Tim “I Hate Gay People” HardawayWhen former NBA star Tim Hardaway was asked about the recent coming out of another former player, John Amaechi, he replied: “I hate gay people… let it be known I don’t like gay people. I’m homophobic.”

After losing an endorsement, being scratched from events, and basically getting his ass chewed out by gay and lesbian groups he admitted that he shouldn’t have used the word “hate,” that his remarks were “very bad.”

That has all the sincerity of a Mel Gibson apology.

Well, on the Jimmy Kimmel show this week, Star Trek’s George Takei (Mr. Sulu), a gay man and a human being, responds with a hysterical and bold promise…

Purim for the Cool Cats and Groovy Gals

With Purim rapidly approaching, it’s time to bust out the best of the Megilla readings. The Big Megilla [mp3], originally recorded by Bill Averbach for his Austin Klezmorim, is probably the hippest telling of the Megilla.

Hey, Man, I highly recommend listening to it.

The Eco/Ethical Kashrut Wars

According to the Forward, Orthodox groups are attacking Conservative rabbis working to create a new, ethically motivated hekhsher [food certification; that kosher symbol you see on food].

The Conservative movement decided last December to create a Tsedek Hekhsher, or justice certification, after finding substandard working conditions at the country’s largest kosher slaughterhouse in Postville, Iowa. The movement, made up of more than 700 congregations, is currently devising a way of certifying the labor standards at kosher food plants.

Sounds good, right? Many Orthodox are saying it’s wrong:

The most organized criticism of the new effort has come from a group of ultra-Orthodox rabbis belonging to the Central Rabbinical Congress, or Hisachdus Horabbonim, which released a proclamation condemning the Conservative rabbis. The proclamation from the congress, which is affiliated with the Satmar Hasidic sect, was echoed in a column in the Jewish Press, a leading Orthodox publication. The Jewish Press columnist, Rabbi Gershon Tannenbaum, said Jews should “repulse any attempts of introducing such alien impositions.”Tannenbaum wrote that the “injection of social or humanitarian considerations, especially by outsiders, would be an unallowable breach of the time honored halachic administration of kashrus standards.”

From the Hisachdus Horabbonim, the quote that makes them look the most foolish. (New = Bad!)

The Hisachdus kol koreh called upon all observant Jews to reject the introduction of any type of tsedek heckscher, something never previously heard of. The Hisachdus views the suggestion as an attempt by those outside the observant community to infiltrate and dilute the existing framework of kashrus certifications.

Maybe the solution is to see the forward-thinking, Tsedek Hekhsher-supporting Jews of NY (and other major cities) stage a full-blown Kosher Meat Boycott, as seen in 1902! Come on, you know you want to boycott - if enough people stop buying kosher meat, and start insisting on an ethical hekhsher, the butcher shops will have to cave and support the new hekhsher in order to stay in business, forcing the hands of the Orthodox rabbis to support the hekhsher. It could work…

[Edit: In a clear sign of "great minds think alike," JCarrot has posted an article about this too, with a bit more information about the Conservative vs Orthodox conflicts arising from these efforts.]

When all else fails, cook and bake!

What do you do the evening of the morning that the paper which you haven’t yet started was due?

a) Write the paper so that it’ll only be a day late
b) Attend to the much needed grocery shopping
c) Make calzone

If you answered b, as a means to c… you’re right!

They’re really easy to make, and are great portable meals. (Take them to school, work, or play for a lunch or snack. They can be eaten cold, or reheated. And they freeze well.) Plus, they’re healthy, and come in an almost endless variety of flavours.

My usual “I don’t measure when I bake” rules apply, so consider yourself warned.

The dough:
On a clean, dry surface, make a small hill out of 5 cups of whole wheat flour. [Optional: add herbs to the flour.] Make a small well in the middle; make sure the flour “walls” are thick and “sturdy” as you’re going to need them to hold water in the well.

Pour 1 cup of tepid water into the well. Sprinkle 2 tbsp of yeast, 1 tbsp sugar, and 1tbsp salt into the water. Mix the water with a fork, being careful to leave the flour walls in tact.

Slowly start pulling the walls into the well, mixing with the water. You’ll get about half mixed in, then you’ll need to add more water. Add water a bit at a time, mixing as much four in as you can, until you have a nice, not-too-sticky dough. (You’ll probably have given up on using the fork, and will be using your hands to mix it.)

You want to start kneading the dough at this point, adding a bit more flour if your dough’s too sticky. Keep working the dough for 4-5 minutes until it’s nice and smooth.

Work it into a ball and put it in a bowl. Cover the bowl with saranwrap and let the dough rise for about 30 minutes, until it’s doubled in size.

Meanwhile, prepare the filling:
I like to sauté vegetables instead of putting in raw ones. For tonight’s calzones, I used one large white onion (chopped), three small zucchinis (sliced), and about 20 mushrooms (sliced). As they softened in the wok, I added seasoning (garlic, basil, paprika, fennel, oregano, lemon zest, black pepper, ginger, thyme, and a few drops of lemon juice). In my experience, calzones need a lot of flavouring, so don’t worry about over-seasoning.

You can really use any vegetable… or anything you would normally enjoy on a pizza, or in a sandwhich. I’ve also made curry calzones, breakfast calzones (crack an egg on the dough [it cooks while you bake it], add some meat or faux meat or tofu or cheese or whatever, some spinach and/or tomatoes), and many many many different varieties of toppings.

Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

Back to the dough:
Punch down the dough, and knead it a little more. Break off a small fist-sized amount of dough. On a floured surface, roll the dough out into a circle-esque shape. (You’ll want to keep the rolling pin and surface floured.)

Take the rolled dough and put it onto a baking sheet. Add your toppings, cheese, a little tomato sauce… whatever you want. But the key is to only put topping on half of the dough, and do not overfill!!!

Prepare the seal: dip your fingers in a bowl of water, and wet the edge of the dough, all the way around. Fold the dough over, and press down to “seal” it up. You’ll then want to fold-and-pinch the seal all the way around the calzone and/or fold-and-fork it. (You’re trying to make a good seal so that the toppings, sauce, or any liquids don’t escape during baking. But, as you don’t want them to explode during baking either, with a fork, make venting holes on top of your calzone.

Repeat until you’ve filled your baking sheet. You’ve made enough dough to make two baking sheet-fulls.

Bake for about 20 minutes until golden brown. If you’re freezing them, I recommend wrapping them individually in saranwrap or a ziplock bag after they’ve cooled. (Then you can take them out of the freezer the night before you’ll want them, put the bagged/wrapped calzone in your bag, and they’re thawed by lunch!)

Enjoy!

And now, to eat… and start considering the writing of the paper that was due 12.5 hours ago…

"Reasonable Accommodation"

Oy. Still annoyed from the intolerance coming out of the CSDM, I’ve tried holding off from posting about a news story that also broke earlier this week. But it’s becoming bigger, and I really need to rant.

Hérouxville, QC, has adopted an immigrant code:

Hérouxville made international headlines after its city council approved a long list of rules that, among other edicts, forbids women from covering their faces in schools, bans female circumcision, and explains the tradition of Christmas trees.A handful of towns in the region near Trois-Rivières have said they want to create similar codes to the one in Hérouxville. Charest dispatched his minister in the region, Julie Boulet, to meet with local mayors and discuss their plans.

Hérouxville leaders had no choice but to create the code because Quebec has its head in the sand when it comes to the delicate subject of accommodating immigrants, said Mario Dumont, leader of Action démocratique du Québec.

“Anybody who looks at the way things are evolving in the last year or so, it’s obvious that things are slipping.” [CBC]

Another example of people being intolerant of other cultures, religions, and customs, not understanding what the traiditions are based on, and making ridiculously xenophobic “laws” aimed at creating homogenous towns and societies. Unbelievable!

I wonder how these people in Quebec towns would feel if, for whatever reason, they had to move to the US or anglo-Canada and were forced to stop speaking French, forced to distance themselves from French/Quebecois culture, and were not permitted to practice Catholocism (including Christmas and Easter). How would they feel then? The only reason they are making these declarations is because they are in the majority, they see their culture as the norm, and don’t understand that people can live together despite, or because of!, their differences.

I know I’ve used the word “ridiculous” several times, but I just can’t get over how… ridiculous this all is! (And how scary that people can think this way.) Especially if you consider the the percentage of Hérouxville that is made up of the immigrants that they claim are such a problem.

Herouxville has a population of 1,300 and is home to only one immigrant family; the rest of its citizens are white, French-speaking and Catholic.

If you read the declaration, which first attracted notice on the town’s website, you can’t help wondering, “are these people real?”

Included in the declaration are the following items: women should be able to show their faces in public (aside from costumes worn on Halloween); women should be permitted to drive cars and write cheques; and women should not be publicly beaten to death or burned alive. [Media Monitors]

And stating that immigrants

must not stone women to death in public, burn them alive or throw acid on them [Gazette]

is just ridiculous, as those acts are already covered by Canadian laws. Further, the rights of women (and men) are protected by the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Unfortunately, then you get the media who applauds the likes of Hérouxville:

The heroes of Herouxville (updated)

Kudos to the mayor and six city counselors of Herouxville, a small community northeast of Montreal. Fed up with the demands of immigrants that the city change its values to accommodate them — can you guess the religion of these demanding immigrants? — the city has published a set of standards that is, well, priceless:

We would especially like to inform the new arrivals that the lifestyle they left behind in their birth country cannot be brought here with them and they would have to adapt to their new social identity…

Read the entire document; it gets better as it goes. (Click on the Avis Public link at the city’s website and scroll down to the English version in .pdf format).

And let’s get our own municipalities to follow the lead of His Honor Mayor Martin Petigny and his six splendid counselors. They’ve set a set of standards for us all. [American Thinker]

AAAh. Ridiculous. It saddens me that this exists, and so close to home.