Pickles and Poutine

Motzei Shabbos I was exhausted, and planned to trek home to sleep. Instead, I was convinced to make an appearance at a friend’s going away party. He’s a good enough friend to not mind me saying that I was won over by the promise of deep-fried pickles. Seriously. To say I was intrigued would be a gross understatement. So after we separated Shabbos from chol, welcomed the new week, we walked over to Dive Bar.

We were pleasantly surprised by the numerous vegetarian offerings to be found on the menu. Then, while debating between a veggie burger and beer chaser for the deep-fried pickles, or just a beer, my friend spotted it: poutine.

A well known Quebecois comfort food: A heap of Dive Bar Fries studded with farm fresh cheddar curd cheese that melts under hot, thick gravy! Tremendously satisfying. Goes well with a cold beer! Vegetarian gravy available.

The menu said everything it had to. We ordered a side of poutine for our pickles.

The pickles were good, but not great. I’m not a huge fan of salt (the flavour that is; I certainly am a fan of its chemical reaction in cooking and baking), but even I was giving the salt shaker a work out. They were lightly beer battered then fried. The pickles were still crunchy on the inside, while the batter was golden brown. I’d order them again, but maybe from another establishment (you know, in hopes of finding a better purveyor).

And then the poutine. Oh, the poutine. It was not poutine. It was possibly passible as disco fries. Maybe. The gravy was clearly from a vegetarian gravy mix; I could recognize and taste the dehydrated peppers, onions, and celery in the sauce. And the gravy was under the fries, not spooned over the whole dish to help in the cheese melting process. But no worries - the cheese was melted in an oven (gah!) or under the heat lamps (oy!) so it didn’t need the gravy’s assistance. And the cheese. Certainly not cheese curds. Probably not of the cheddar variety either. (We guessed it was mozzarella.) So entirely disappointing. Lacking the necessary components, it had no hope of tasting good, let alone tasting like real poutine. They should not be allowed to call it poutine on the menu. I feel quite strongly about this. I mean, what if some unsuspecting New Yorker ate this alleged poutine, not understanding the dish to be an imposter, and then never sought out the real goodness in Quebec? Tragedy. (The above picture is what poutine should look like. Saturday night’s poutine was nothing at all like this yummy concoction.)

In honour of the lack of squeaky cheese (cheese curds squeak, when you bite them, oh yes), I revive danse la poutine:

Oh, the guilt!

Jon Stewart has, for many years, had a great spin on gay marriage: playing off The Right’s fears that gay marriage will ruin marriage for straights; will be the decline of society and morality; will lead to pedophilia and beastiality… His humour in this clip is great. And be sure to catch his opinion on Jewish lesbians marrying.

“I don’t have a problem with them having children because they’re gay. But I am concerned for the welfare of any child with two Jewish mothers.”

Numbers

I was recently asked why I’m here in New York. Why I wasn’t looking for Jew-y stuff in Canada. And, exaggerating to make my point, I said, “There are more Jews on the Upper West Side than in all of Canada!”

I thought I should actually do the math, see how greatly I exaggerated. According to the 2001 Census, there are 329,995 Jews in Canada. Based on the 2000 US Census, there are 318,640 Jews in Manhattan alone. My exaggeration wasn’t as hyperbolic as I’d hoped it was.

Other tidbits to file away… There are 1.6million Jews in NY, total of 5.28million in the US; 5.3million in Israel. The Jewish population of both the US and Israel is roughly the same at 40.3% and 40.6%, respectively, as a share of the world’s total Jewish population. (The Jewish population in the world is approximately 12-13million.)

Live from New York

It’s Saturday Night.

In the midst of wonderful thunderstorms, sheets of rain sweeping across the city, I enjoyed a cozy Shabbos inside. We had planned to eat up on the roof, but the humidity, early on in the day, prompted us to switch to my air conditioned apartment instead. After the thunder and lightning started, but before the rain, we decided to go up to the roof, to enjoy the view and breathe some “fresh” air before the rains came. In the time it took us to climb those twenty-five stories, the skies opened up: big, heavy drops poured down on us with such force that they bounced off the roof tiles and soaked my shorts from the bottom up.

There are many things I enjoy about this region of North America, and the thunderstorms are included. For all it’s spectacular scenery and nature, Vancouver just doesn’t know from good storms.

Another thing I love is the mesh of cultures here. A friend once said that all New Yorkers are part Jewish, Irish, African American, Italian, and Latino/Latina. And I’d believe it. Two year’s ago, I was walking with two friends from the Upper West Side, where we had attended Rosh Hashanah services, to the Upper East Side, where we would be having dinner. Our walk took us through Harlem, on a fairly indirect route (these same two friends would get us lost in Central Park the next day, as we tried to cross from West to East, only to have me, the visitor, get us out of there). We passed Miss Mamie’s and a guy, eating outside, shouted at us. “Hey! Heyyy!!” We kept walking, a little unsure. “Hey! Jews!” We turned back to look at him, a little confused, and more than a little cautiously. “Shaw-naw tow-vah,” he said, with an amazingly Southern drawl and unique pronunciation that I would never have expected to hear.

Following the same vein, Friday’s encounter brought a smile to my face. I was out walking with Gwen. We passed a volunteer (African American, wearing a cross on a chain around his neck) collecting money to feed and shelter the homeless. I threw some change into his collection vessel (a large, empty, water jug, like for a water cooler). A few hours later, we passed by him again. He was still asking passers by to contribute change to help feed the homeless, provide shelter, and every penny helps! He saw me, and changed his pitch, asking for “tzedakkah” instead. I said I’d already given. He paused, looked more closely at me, and said, with a smile, “Oh yeah, you did! Thanks! Shabbat shalom!” And I smiled and kept walking.

As they say in Avenue Jew, “everyone’s a little bit Jewish.”

Really Bad Idea

A follow up to Oh, dear G-d no:

“Attacking Iran, in order to stop its nuclear plans, will be unavoidable,” said [Iranian-born Israeli Transport Minister Shaul Mofaz,] the former army chief who has also been defence minister.

Iran, which denies seeking nuclear weapons, has defied Western pressure to abandon its uranium enrichment projects. The leadership in Tehran has also threatened to retaliate against Israel – believed to have the Middle East’s only atomic arsenal – and U.S. targets in the Gulf for any attack on Iranian turf.

Mr. Mofaz also said in the interview that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who has called for Israel to be wiped off the map, “would disappear before Israel does.” [read more]

I maintain that this is a Bad Idea™. And will lead to a war between Israel and much of the Middle East, with other countries getting involved to support either side and… world war 3 has been born.

(And let’s not forget that the soon-to-be-former Democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton, said “that as president she would be willing to use nuclear weapons against Iran if it were to launch a nuclear attack on Israel.” Thank goodness she won’t be president!)

Oh, dear G-d no.

Ehud Olmert will urge President Bush to prepare an attack on Iran, an Israeli newspaper reported.

How is an “attack” at all the proper response to “stop your nuclear program”? Let’s see… they’ll bomb Iran and then Iran will learn its lesson and not retaliate, and definitely not use those nuclear weapons? Right. This is a great idea.

Florida

After a nearly missed connection, lost luggage, and finally found luggage delivered soaked in an entire bottle of Dr Bronner’s (thanks, TSA, for not closing my toiletries after your inspection!), I got to southern Florida to join the University of Rochester Hillel’s Alternative Spring Break. The U of R was chosen as one of nine schools to take part in Hillel National (USA)’s ASB pilot program. Two students were given leadership training and support in planning the trip, and Hillel subsidized the costs. (This week o’social action cost each student $150.)

The students chose to go to South Florida, to work with Centro Campesino, a non-profit, rural development organisation dedicated to improving the quality of life and self-sufficiency of migrant and seasonal farmworkers, their children and other low-income families of all ethnic and racial backgrounds. The work they signed on for was fixing up a home for migrant workers. In addition to their daily work, they had sessions with local organisations, including Centro Campesino, to learn about issues facing migrant workers.

One of the conditions for the project was that the students must receive a minimum of three sessions of Jewish education over the course of the week. That was my job: Jewish educator. In addition to working alongside the students, I gave lessons on Jewish perspectives relating to housing, workers, and living wages, mostly as text study and discussions. I also helped organise Shabbat - I was especially impressed with our SoFlo niggun, composed on the spot for Psalm 99. Amazing.

In addition to finishing the tasks we were given in the home, the group found time to explore a bit of South Florida. At Robert Is Here, we found tasty, locally grown fruits that we hadn’t had before, including mamey sapote (which looks like a giant, squishy sweet potato, and tastes like sweet potato pie), fruits that were so fresh they almost had a different flavour (mangoes, key limes, papayas, kiwis), and more. One of the taller guys was able to pick a coconut, which I opened for the group - the coconut water was tasty (though not as tasty as it is when chilled), and the flesh was delicious. Having finished the work ahead of schedule, we spent Friday afternoon at the infamous South Beach, a short walk from the “woo! Spring Break!” and gay sections. We went on walks through Everglade National Park and alligators and herons and the sunrise.

It was a great experience, and I’m really happy that U of R Hillel let me join them.

Now, New York!

[Photos are here.]

George Bush: sinner

Recently, the Vatican has made some announcements that I was none too happy about.

But now?

Polluting the environment, and becoming ridiculously wealthy while doing so, are two of the new deadly sins unveiled by the Vatican.

Aiming to update morality for modern times, the Pope’s top lieutenant on matters of sin and penance, Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, promulgated the new list of capital vices over the weekend.

The new list is designed to make the faithful take into account how their lives impact others in a globalized world.

Of course, had I stopped reading there I could have given a brownie point to the church. But some of the other sins on the list make me detract a few: “‘Bioethical’ violations such as birth control” and “‘Morally dubious’ experiments such as stem cell research,” aren’t helpful. So let’s see… you’re a sinner if you use birth control, but you could die from contracting STIs, including HIV/AIDS, without it. (Brings a whole new meaning to “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.)

[source.]

Our greatest ally?

Another incredibly stupid policy coming out of the US. It seems that Canadian luggage is screened twice:

The policy, developed after 9/11 and in place since 2003, requires all bags from flights coming from Canada to be screened at U.S. airports by the federally regulated Transportation Security Administration before they can be loaded onto connecting planes. This, despite having already been screened and precleared by U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers stationed at Canada’s eight major airports. The airport in Shannon, Ireland, is the only other in the world with preclearance to the United States.”In essence, that bag that’s already been deemed safe … gets to the United States, is taken off the airplane, goes back inside the air terminal building, gets rescreened and resecured, and is then sent back out to the second airplane and loaded,” said Jim Facette, president and CEO of the Canadian Airports Council, which represents airports across the country.

“So two things are happening: The passenger is waiting a longer period of time than they need to because screening can take between 75 and 90 minutes, and the TSA is incurring a whole lot of costs. It’s unnecessary.”

Unnecessary, airports and airlines in both Canada and the United States maintain, because the screening technology and security procedures in place in both countries are virtually identical, and precleared passengers can’t access their checked bags between flights. [Source.]

There’s a waste of money happening, as increase in missed connections and lost luggage, and the US hasn’t been able to show any evidence that this practice is making any difference! Ridiculous.

Coming to a North America Near You!

The countdown has begun. Some of you know that I’m cutting this year in Israel short, for various reasons.

What this means to you: I’ll be in North America. And soon!

In just over two weeks, I’ll have finished ulpan, said goodbye to my chevrutahs, and left my shiurs. On February 26, I’ll be arriving at YUL. Shortly thereafter, I plan on getting to Pizza Pita for poutine. (Some people kiss the tarmac, after a long time away, I eat cheese curds.)

From my touch down in Montreal through early April, I’ll be visiting the east coast trinity - Montreal, New York, and Boston. (With a side trip to Portland.) After that, I’ll be spending April and May in a west coast ménage à trois: Seattle, Vancouver, and Victoria (with a possible side trip to Vernon and/or Kamloops).

If you live in these cities, and you want to hang out, let me know. (Please also drop me a line if you have a couch or floor I can crash on.)

See you soon!!