Within this week:

• one broken toe
• one mangled finger
• one Shabbos in Washington DC
• one funeral in Florida

May the next week be less crazy.

Cross-posted to Two Heads of Lettuce.

By popular request, the recipe for my quinoa salad, which some folks supped on at Kol Zimrah earlier this summer.

½ cup quinoa
1 cup water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp orange juice
1 clove garlic, minced
2 scallions, thinly sliced
1 tsp ginger, grated
2 tbsp raisins
2 tbsp pine nuts, toasted
1 orange, peeled and chopped coarsley

In a strainer rinse the quinoa under running water and drain. Combine the quinoa and water in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and simmer until all the of the water is absorbed.

In a large bowl, combine the remaining ingredients and season with salt and pepper. Stir in the quinoa and mix well.

Serve chilled or at room temperature.

Cross-posted to Jewschool.

One of the many frustrations I have when it comes to Israel is the whole settlement situation. It is illegal to start a new settlement in Israel. Every week, new settlements are started, and the government allows the majority to remain. It’s illegal, but the government doesn’t stop it. Huh. Israeli law, international law, the Geneva Convention, and Oslo are often sited in support of stopping, and removing, the settlements. But, still, Israel does not move on it. In fact, we often hear that the Israeli government is building houses in the territories, er East Jerusalem. (Because if you call it Jerusalem, the media’s less likely to call out the illegality of it.)

But what happens when the legalities play out elsewhere? Like in the Superior Court in Montreal?

[T]he gist of the case is the assertion that Israel is violating the 4th Geneva Convention, which prohibits a state from transferring its population into territories it occupies. Canada has incorporated that provision into its domestic law and it applies to Green Park and Green Mount. … [T]he lands in question are under the jurisdiction of the municipality of Bil’in and are part of Israeli-occupied Palestinian territories.

And what’s the case against Green Park and Green Mount?

Green Park International and Green Mount International, acting as agents of the government of Israel, are violating a host of international laws that govern conflicts, as well as Quebec’s Charter of Rights.

Also being sued is Annette Laroche, sole director and officer of the two corporations. Two million dollars in punitive damages are sought, as well as an order to cease construction.

The court documents allege the defendants, “on their own behalf and as de facto agents of the State of Israel, are… aiding, abetting and assisting and conspiring with the State of Israel in carrying out an illegal purpose.” [Full article.]

This case will be complicated, certainly. Israel has thus far refused to try cases on the grounds of jurisdiction, but will Quebec? As Green Park and Green Mount are both Quebec-based companies, they have to abide by Quebecois, Canadian, and international law; it seems clear that they’re not.

I’d like to see this case go through the system. If the plaintiffs win, it would set precedent for other Palestinian towns to file similar legal cases. And could possibly also deter international (ie, not Israeli) companies from supporting (building or funding) the illegal settlements. I mean, could you imagine how great it would be if Palestinians actually had a legal way to sue American Jews who buy homes in the territories (er, “Jerusalem”) sight unseen (such as the new Nof Zion community)? Will Quebec be an open enough venue for a case like this, with such strong opinions on both/all sides, especially in light of the Bouchard-Taylor Commission’s findings?

* * *

In other, only vaguely related news, a bank in Canada is being sued by Canadians who live in Israel. They claim this bank, Lebanese Canadian Bank (somehow related to Royal Bank of Canada, which isn’t being sued), knowingly dealt with Hezbollah. And Hezbollah’s to blame for the Lebanese war in 2006, during which the plaintiffs’ homes were damaged/destroyed. I’m not sure how this will play out. [Full article.]

(Is there something in the water, Montreal?)

Yes, those are muppets (Judge Gavel Doozer from “Fraggle Rock;” muggaphone player and Judge Marvin Suggs from “The Muppet Show”). Why not?)

Motzei Shabbos I was exhausted, and planned to trek home to sleep. Instead, I was convinced to make an appearance at a friend’s going away party. He’s a good enough friend to not mind me saying that I was won over by the promise of deep-fried pickles. Seriously. To say I was intrigued would be a gross understatement. So after we separated Shabbos from chol, welcomed the new week, we walked over to Dive Bar.

We were pleasantly surprised by the numerous vegetarian offerings to be found on the menu. Then, while debating between a veggie burger and beer chaser for the deep-fried pickles, or just a beer, my friend spotted it: poutine.

A well known Quebecois comfort food: A heap of Dive Bar Fries studded with farm fresh cheddar curd cheese that melts under hot, thick gravy! Tremendously satisfying. Goes well with a cold beer! Vegetarian gravy available.

The menu said everything it had to. We ordered a side of poutine for our pickles.

The pickles were good, but not great. I’m not a huge fan of salt (the flavour that is; I certainly am a fan of its chemical reaction in cooking and baking), but even I was giving the salt shaker a work out. They were lightly beer battered then fried. The pickles were still crunchy on the inside, while the batter was golden brown. I’d order them again, but maybe from another establishment (you know, in hopes of finding a better purveyor).

And then the poutine. Oh, the poutine. It was not poutine. It was possibly passible as disco fries. Maybe. The gravy was clearly from a vegetarian gravy mix; I could recognize and taste the dehydrated peppers, onions, and celery in the sauce. And the gravy was under the fries, not spooned over the whole dish to help in the cheese melting process. But no worries - the cheese was melted in an oven (gah!) or under the heat lamps (oy!) so it didn’t need the gravy’s assistance. And the cheese. Certainly not cheese curds. Probably not of the cheddar variety either. (We guessed it was mozzarella.) So entirely disappointing. Lacking the necessary components, it had no hope of tasting good, let alone tasting like real poutine. They should not be allowed to call it poutine on the menu. I feel quite strongly about this. I mean, what if some unsuspecting New Yorker ate this alleged poutine, not understanding the dish to be an imposter, and then never sought out the real goodness in Quebec? Tragedy. (The above picture is what poutine should look like. Saturday night’s poutine was nothing at all like this yummy concoction.)

In honour of the lack of squeaky cheese (cheese curds squeak, when you bite them, oh yes), I revive danse la poutine:

This is mostly a post reminding myself to take advantage of this. But, hey, you should too! From the Jew and the Carrot we find that there’s a coffee

that’s not only organic, kosher and free trade, but it’s grown by a cooperative of Jews, Christians and Muslims in Uganda. The co-op is called Mirembe Kawomera, which means Delicious Peace in Luganda. You can buy the coffee off their website, for $10.50 for 12 oz. which comes out to almost ten cents less per ounce than some blends at Starbucks. And if you can arrange a big order for your community (20 lbs or more), prices go down even further, to $8.00 for 12 oz. Coffee that saves me money, is free trade, organic, kosher, and part of a project that promotes peace and interfaith initiatives? The only way it could get any better would be if it found me a boyfriend and cleaned the cat litter.

Once I’m settled into my new place, you can be certain I’ll be looking for folks to join me on a bulk buy.

(And, yes, this means that my attempts to give up coffee have been going poorly. I’m back up to 3-4/week from the 1/week from the 2-3/day.)

Les Anglais ne sont pas prêts à voir deux hommes s’embrasser à la télévision. Du moins, pas dans une pub de mayonnaise. La compagnie Heinz l’a appris à ses dépens cette semaine. Devant le tollé suscité par sa publicité pour sa Deli Mayo, elle a dû la retirer des ondes après seulement une semaine de diffusion.

Dominic Arpin asked his readers if he thought the same controversy would arise in Canada. I don’t think it would.

395 comments on YouTube later, the only conclusion is that the majority of commenters enjoyed it, a smaller (but angry, loud, and insulting) minority didn’t like it. Except those who liked it said why (funny, thoughtful, different, etc.), while those who didn’t just went on about the “gay mafia,” the homosexual lifestyle as a disease, and media’s attacks on Christianity. And only a few people actually got the point: “Yeah it’s not supposed to be about gay people anyways, it’s about having NY Deli at your own house with the new mayos.”

[Merci a Faguy]

It may bear my name, but it certainly isn’t for me.

On Jewschool, Diaspora Mentality reports:

This is somewhat old news but it provides a new way to beat a dead scarf, so why not.

A few days ago I spotted a young German man on the Berlin subway wearing a Kaffiyeh Yisraelit. I mentioned this to a German friend. My friend did a quick google search and turned up this gem: The Kaffiyeh Feygele. It seems a gay or two on the “anti-German” left has now appropriated Rachel Ray’s favorite scarf.

In the place of the classic Levantine pattern, the Kaffiyeh Feygele has hearts, butt plugs, condoms and hammers and sickles. Also, it has stars of David in the corners. This is an article in the German paper Taz on the phenomenon.

Note the Pfizer brand viagra pills in the motif as well. Amazing.

According to the Crisco Connection website (the creators of this), the first run is a limited edition of 100. Quick, uh, hurry and get yours… today?

Following up, and making sure you’ve written to your MP.

Because this isn’t over.

• Canadian Industry Minister lies about his Canadian DMCA on national radio, then hangs up: CBC Radio’s Search Engine just posted/aired its interview with Canadian Industry Minister Jim Prentice about his Canadian version of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Before hanging up on interviewer (and my cousin) Jesse Brown, Prentice “lies, dodges, weaves and ducks around plain, simple questions like, “If the guy at my corner shop unlocks my phone, is he breaking the law?” and “If my grandfather breaks the DRM on his jazz CDs to put them on his iPod, does that break the law?” and the biggie, “All the ‘freedoms’ your law guarantees us can be overriden by DRM, right?” (Prentice’s answer to this last one, “The market will take care of it,” is absolutely priceless.)” [This link includes the MP3 to Search Engine, in case you're not already listening to the podcast.]
• Canadian DMCA will criminalize emailing your kids’ class photos to their grandparents: “Did you email your grandmother a photo of your kids’ kindergarten photos? Call her up and tell her that you won’t be able to do it again with the grade one pics next year unless she calls up her MP and puts him on notice that he’d better oppose the CDMCA or lose her vote. Did your brother back up his DVDs to his laptop when he went away to university? Call him now and let him know that he’ll be a criminal next year unless he calls and writes to his MP and lets her know what he thinks of Bill C-61.”
• Canadian Parliament shoutfest over the Canadian DMCA:
  

To borrow a term/pronunciation from a friend, this is total bullshis. Stop Prentice!

Jon Stewart has, for many years, had a great spin on gay marriage: playing off The Right’s fears that gay marriage will ruin marriage for straights; will be the decline of society and morality; will lead to pedophilia and beastiality… His humour in this clip is great. And be sure to catch his opinion on Jewish lesbians marrying.

“I don’t have a problem with them having children because they’re gay. But I am concerned for the welfare of any child with two Jewish mothers.”

Drisha Institute in New York City is offering a month-long weekly co-ed class this summer that is open to the public and may be of interest to [some of us] who are interested in issues of gender, clothing, and sexuality. Chasiah Haberman will be teaching “Pink Shirts and Pinstripe Trousers: Clothing and Gender Construction Halakha.” From Drisha’s site:

What do women wear? What constitutes a uniquely male garment? Is modesty a gender-specific concept? How do assumptions about gender shape ideas of appropriate dress for men and women? We will study both traditional and contemporary halakhic literature.

Chasiah Haberman
Tuesday, 7:45 – 9:15 p.m.
Tuition: $125

Financial assistance is available. Space is still available. This class is co-ed.

Register soon, as the class starts on July 1st!