On Judaism…

This post is a a little long, so I’ve put it behind a cut, just to spare people’s friends pages. Basically, I’m talking about a few issues that have been rumbling around in my brain for a while now, including my Judaism, becoming a rabbi, and Montreal.

I think one of the reasons I have such a hard time at synagogue here is the constant cheerleading for Israel. Which isn’t to say that Israel doesn’t need cheerleading, but when I go to synagogue I’m looking for spirituality, prayer, and hopefully an inspiring sermon. What I’m not looking for is a weekly speech on why Israel is crucially important, why we need to argue down those who see Israel as being inexplicably in the wrong when it comes to Arab-Israelis and/or Palestinians, and why we need to send money to Israel (instead of, say, third world countries). So when, this past Shabbat, there was a long speech/presentation by the Canada Israel Committee, explaining how they lobby politicians (more cabinet members went to Israel this past year than any other); put pro-Israel stories in the media, by working closely with all of Canada’s newspapers, TV, and radio stations; and spend time explaining to average Canadians why Israel isn’t the Big Bad Bully that it’s depicted as…. well, I get annoyed. I couldn’t help but think that this organization, and others like it, are doing just what the fringe of anti-Semitics are claiming: The Jews are controlling the government and the media. (And, what’s worse, after this long talk, the congregation clapped. Clapped! You do not applaud during services.)

So this has me thinking. If I feel this strongly against listening to all the rhetoric, to the point where, no, I will not be going to the rally/march for Israel on the 22nd, to the point where I didn’t join in in the Yom Ha’Atsmaut “songs for Israel” at the service’s conclusion, despite the fact that I have been to Israel, and I plan on going again, and I have planted trees, and made donations to the JNF… how must those Jews feel who are not Zionists? (Not that I necessarily see myself as a Zionist, but that’s a whole other post.)

I looked around and realised I was one of maybe a half-dozen people in the congregation under the age of 35. And of those 5 others, 2 were there with their families (they’re newly engaged and were getting a blessing), and the remaining three were of bar mitzvah age or younger. Do the age demographics correlate to opinions on Israel? In a time where people have such hugely diverse and divisive views on Israel, would a synagogue be more likely to hold on to younger congregants if they didn’t mention Israel? And why does being Jewish in the Diaspora mean that you have to be so pro-Israel?

I didn’t participate in any Hillel activities this year, because their presence on my campus is thoroughly synonymous with total Zionism. (And “traditional” Judaism, loosely affiliated with Orthodoxy, and I’m not a believer in separating the men from the woman during prayer.) I didn’t fall in love with Israel after I went; while the students at Hillel talk about nothing else but going [back] to Israel and how great a time they had.

* * * * *

I’ve been really worried that I’ve been moving forward, towards rabbinic studies, towards becoming a rabbi, and that this isn’t what I’m meant to be doing. That I’ve been moving on an idea I’d had as a seven-year old, and just kept repeating. Because of my doubt, I’ve been trying to reassure myself that I’d made the right decision by telling myself, and others, that I didn’t want to be a pulpit rabbi, that I wanted to work with children and youth, do outreach and social justice. It seemed to legitimize my decision, and make more sense somehow. But a few things have been happening of late, that reassure me that I’m on the right path.

The other day I finally realised that not only could I take my negative experiences and make them positive, but how I could do that. Specifically, how I could hopefully excite, inspire, and capture the imaginations of children, similar to the way that I was excited, inspired, and intrigued by Judaism as a child by my rabbi. This was enough to keep me interested and active in Judaism post-bar mitzvah, unlike most of my peers. Further, this was enough to keep me interested even after I left that rabbi/congregation and found myself attending a series of synagogues with incredibly boring, uninspiring, and flat-out rude rabbis. (Sure, I enjoyed arguing sexuality with rabbis, explaining why I believed that G-d created all of us, even the queers, equally, but it was also incredibly exhausting and detracted from my ability to connect spiritually at synagogue. (And the other disagreements were far less enjoyable.)) I really believe that I can have a positive impact on the lives of children and youth, explaining the stories, culture, characters of our religion.

Then there was my afternoon spent with a 70-year old woman. Usually when people ask me what I’m studying, and what I want to do with my education, I’m not exactly forthright. I don’t lie, I just don’t usually feel comfortable saying that I want to be a rabbi. I guess I just feel that it comes with a whole host of expectations and pre-conceived notions. But for some reason with her, I was upfront. She questioned how my past work experience, my years of volunteering, would play a role in being a rabbi. And I explained myself. She smiled, nodded, and told me that I have a good soul. It feels weird admitting it, but this total stranger managed to help validate my choices in a way that good friends and family have not. The afternoon flew by, and culminated in her insisting on driving me home. (Oh, and she wants me to do some limited contract work for her, starting in a couple weeks, and she’s decided that I’m so fantastic an individual that she’s networking on my behalf in hopes of finding me a job that’s “worthy of your efforts and experiences”. I want to make her my bubbe.)

* * * * *

The joy of this rather lengthy post, is that it doesn’t even begin to skim the surface of my thoughts. I think I could write for hours, and perhaps I should?, and I still wouldn’t have my ideas hashed out.

Filed under: judaism, politics

Kabbalat Shabbat? Chavurot?

I’m starting to give up on finding a congregation/shul that I connect with in Montreal. And I can’t be the only one feeling this way.

Is there any interest in forming a new chavurot?

I’m thinking near downtown or the Plateau, egal, respectful of different denominations, led by us for us…

Please let me know if there is any interest out there, and feel free to pass this on to people you might think are interested. (If there is an interest, I’ll create an LJ community and we can start organizing!)

Cheers,
Benjamin (aka, feygele)

Filed under: judaism

On Scrabble, and more

I’m sitting in the library at school, killing time…

Just sold one of my textbooks to a student taking the course this summer; she gave me more than twice what the stupid bookstore buy-back was offering. (Though still less than 50% of the original price I paid.)

Copied from Word Freak, by Stefan Fatsis, pages 332-3.

Danny also is an Orthodox Jew, and it’s the Sabbath, so he has to modify the normal Scrabble conventions to play. There has been debate among Orthodox Jews over whether playing Scrabble is permissible at all on Shabbat, when, according to the Torah, work is forbidden, as are writing, measuring, and touch that may result in forbidden labor. When he studied at an ultra-Orthodox yeshiva, Sam Orbaum, a newspaper columnist who runs the Jerusalem Scrabble club, asked different rabbis for their interpretations of playing on the Sabbath. “The responses I got were incredibly hairsplitting, because they were basically theoretical, but that’s the nature of Talmudic interpretation,” he says.
Generally, playing Scrabble is considered an intellectual pursuit, and therefore Sabbath-acceptable. How you play is the issue. One school of thought holds that using a deluxe board is permissible because the tiles are separated by ridges. That separation means the practice of forming words is not like writing, and it also means the letters aren’t contiguous, so the game can be disassembled without breaking anything (breaking and separating are prohibited on the Sabbath). But an opposite interpretation holds that the letters on a deluxe board are fixed in place, so it is like writing; a flat board, on the other hand, offers no permanence to what is being set down, and is therefore permissible. Orbuam, who is nonreligious now and plays with a clean conscience on the Sabbath, was told that mixing the tiles isn’t allowed, but that one could play if they were laid upside down on the table rather than placed in the bag. I once saw an Orthodox player use an assistant to draw tiles and hit the clock for him.
Danny plays with a deluxe board and without an assistant. But he uses a wind-up chess clock – electronic devices can’t be used on the Sabbath – and even that, Danny says, is questionable because a clock is considered by some to involve measuring. After the game, Danny asks his opponent to pick up the tiles, so he doesn’t do any breaking up, and to fill out the score sheets. Also to avoid writing, Danny keeps score and tracks tiles by using washers and nuts. On a sheet listing the numbers 1 to 600 and the tile frequency, Danny places nuts on the number indicating his score and washers on his opponent’s score and on the tiles played.

It’s interesting how, despite much social life, I’ve had plans every night this week. Mostly going for long walks around town, but last night was the meet-up, tonight I’m painting a loft (instead of partaking in Yom Ha’atzmaut), and tomorrow is shul (any locals wanna join me?) then some Sex and The City watching.

I want to get out of Montreal. I’m so incredibly bored, and I’m hating that I’m still unemployed. Of course travelling requires money, which requires employment. Drat. Otherwise, I’d love to visit NY, Boston, Vancouver, Seattle, Philly, and Boca. Well, maybe not Boca Raton in the summer, but it’s still on my list due to me missing certain people.

Right, so that above Scrabble stuff was inspired by my second reading of Word Freak. I figure since I’m unemployed, I might as well start studying to be the SCrabble champ I’ve dreamed of being… I picked up a copy of the OSPD yesterday, and I plan on reading through it, before re-attacking the 2-plus-1 list, and the other lists I’ve compiled. I also plan on going out to Hampstead Wednesday nights to play with the Montreal Scrabble Club, including former North American and World Champion, Joel Wapnick. Oh yeah, live the dream…

Filed under: judaism, school, scrabble, travels

Gift in the mail!

Attention people who know my home address:

I would like to thank whomever sent me the lovely sedar plate from Israel, however there was no note included, so I don’t know who you are.

It arrived today; I look forward to using it next Pesach.

תודה
בנימין

Filed under: judaism